Daddy__ ^^,

hAyyHHh.....

q mo cuRht lagii yaaawh...
kali ini tntg my daddy...
I really love my daddy..
u know something??
He left my fam when i was in elementary school..
I really love my daddy, he also did love me...
buT why he left me???
...ouughhh....
i really miss my dad...


mY father is a good man for me...
but he has a bad personality, i guess...
he is a bad temper and "stone-head"man..
when he make a mistake, it's very difficult for him to admit it..
he always pretend that he is right and the others are wrong..
i don't like his behavior..
buT so far, he really love me..
I felt safe when i was beside him...
hE really care of me...
buT it was a long time ago...
huuumpfhh..

yesterday, i sent him a message...
i miz him...
then he told me smthing...
he said that he was in trouble...
ya know...
he was in a difficult stuation...
a few years ago, after my parents were divorced,
my daddy were bankrupt...
and now, he really need a job...
in the other side of me, i think it was a punishment for him,
coz he had made a very big mistake..
but then i realize that i shouldn't judge my dad like that..
coz i'm not a god...
just let God decide what's the best for him...

yesterday, he told me that he was desperate right now..
he blamed God of not giving him a job...
but that's not a mature reason at all...
very childish...
he didn't introspection him self of what he had done..
then i told him what i'm feel right now...
ya know...
i told him..
that he should hand over all his plans and his life to God's hands..
Trusting God, that He will do the best for your life..
believe God that one day He will show you the way out of your problem right now...
The key is trust God!!

here...
i always pray for my daddy..
even though he wasn't here beside me..
i always pray so that he will find the way out of his problems...
My prayer always beside you...

God bless you my daddy...
I love you...

I'm so grateful, because of Jesus Christ always blesses me...

by: Michelle Apriana K

Seminggu ini q ngerasa kurang berapi-api bgt,
dan di setiap doaku, q slalu minta ma Tuhan supaya q dikasih roh yang menyala-nyala lagi...

Tanggal 7&8 Maret ini q bakal ikut acara encounter dr greja...
Encounter tu adalah acara utk mempertemukan kita ma Tuhan lagi...
Kita akan diubahkan hatinya..
Pokoknya dibuat mjd seseorang yang baru dan pnuh dgn roh kudus gt d...
Q excited bgt, coz byk yang bilang acara ni bner2 memberkati bgt...
Di acara ni bakal ada pelepasan kita dari sgala ikatan dosa gt...
Pastinya banyak penyembahan dan doa2 yang nguatin kita gitu...

Kmrn q biz ikutan acara briefing buat encounter....
Dsitu dibilangin kalo kita harus punya suatu kerinduan yang besar bgt buat diubahkan Tuhan..
Nah, dsitu q bner2 terpaku...
Coz hal itu yg slama ini q pikirin...
Slama ini q bner2 pny kerinduan yang besar bgt buat berubah...
Q pengen ninggalin smua dosa2 yang udah q lakuin slama ini...
aNd ThanKs God...
Rencana Tuhan bener-bner ajaib yaa...
akhirnya q dipertemukan ma acara encounter ini...
Q percaya bgt ma Tuhan, kalo q bakal ngalamin suatu mujizat yang besar disini...
Q yakin n percaya Tuhan bakal ngelawat aku.... Amin...

Hari ini q udah niat puasa 4 hari untuk mempersembahkan yang terbaik buat Tuhan..
Q rindu banget dalam persiapan 4 hari sbelum encounter ini,
q bisa melakukan yang terbaik buat Tuhan...
Puji Tuhan...
Tadi pagi sperti biasa q saTe...
Tapi hari ini gag biasa banget...
Waktu aku mulai dengan baca renungan harian, q tersentuh ma perkataan Tuhan hari ini...
Tuhan berkata tntang hati yang tulus mengikut Tuhan...
Hati yang benar2 ikut Tuhan untuk mengenal Tuhan,
bukan karena ingin berkat-berkatnya saja...
YaP!!
Tuhan bner2 mnegur aku dsini..
Emang bner kalo slama ini q hanya mengejar berkat-berkat Tuhan aja...
Tapi skarang, Tuhan pengen hatiku berubah...
Mnjadi seorang anak yang bner2 ikut Tuhan karena ingin mengenal Tuhan lebih intim...

Waktu doa setelah baca renungan,...
Q bner-bner dijamah Tuhan...
Tuhan mengetuk hatiku dan q mnangis...
q bner-bner brsyukur ma Tuhan buat firmannya yang menegur aku...
Tuhan udah memberikan hati yang baru yang berapi-api lagi...
Thanks God krn udah mndengar doaku...

Skarang, fokusku hanya untuk Tuhan...
Q rindu banget, hidupku bisa menjadi dupa yang harum buat Tuhan...
Hidupku bisa dipakai sbagai alat kemuliaan Tuhan...
Q rindu banget dalam seumur hidupku, q bisa mnyenangkan hati Tuhan...
Amen...

A Girl Prayer

Dear Lord,

I pray for a man
That will be a part of my life
A man that really loves You more than everything
A man that will take me in the second place of his heart
A man that lives not for his self but for You
Face and physical attraction are not important...

The most important is
I want a heart that really loves and thirsty of You
And has desire to be like Jesus
And he must know for whom and for what he lives,
So his life is not useless...

Someone that has a wise heart, not only smart brain
A man that not only loves me, but also respect me
A man that not only can adore me, but can warn me when i am wrong
A man that loves me not from my smooth levels
but from my heart
A man can be my best friend in any time and situation
A man that makes me feel a woman when I am beside him...

I am not asking for a perfect he
Bit I ask for an important he
So I can make he perfect in Your eyes
A man that needs my support for the strength
A man that needs my prayer for his life
A man that needs my smile to cover his sadness
A man that needs my love so he could feel love
A man that needs me to make he live...

And I also ask,
Make me a woman that can made he proud
Give me a heart that really love You
So I could love him with you Your love, not love him with my love
Give me Your gentle spirit,
So my personality does not come from my outside, but came from You
Give me Your hands, that I always be able to pray for him
Give me your eyes, so I can see many good things in him, not the bad ones
Give me Your mouth that is filled with Your words of wisdom and encourage
So I could support him everyday
Give me Your lips, and I will smile at every time...

And I want that when we finally meet
Both of us can say
How Great Thou Art
Thank you give me someone that can make me life perfect
I know that You want us to meet at the right time
Amen...

Taken from : FG Magazine 97

Dunia

by : Michelle Apriana.K

Pagi yang dingin, angin yang kencang
Bertiup seolah mengusirku pergi jauh...
Hujan yang menerpaku, seolah peluru es di ragaku...
Dunia tiada hentinya menghujam tubuhku dengan amarahnya...
Sekejap, perihnya menusuk hingga rusukku...
Kegelapan seolah meenyeliputiku
Dan kekosongan membuatku tersungkur

Oh dunia...
Apakah salahku?
Mengapa kau begitu membenciku?
Menghempasku seolah aku tiada guna...

Dalam gelapnya dunia, sekelibat cahaya menghampiriku...
Menebarkan kehangatan semi yang indah...
Dan menyelimutiku dengan kenyamanan yang abadi..
Jiwaku seolah tenang, damai dalam pancaranmu..
Sakitnya tubuh ini terkalahkan oleh sentuhanmu...
Jiwaku terasa terangkat dari tubuh penuh luka ini..
Terbang bersamamu ke awan-awan yang kekal...

Damai hatiku terus menyertai, tiada sekalipun meninggalkanku...
Jiwaku seringan debu di udara, mengalir terus bersamamu...
Rasa sakit yang dulu menoreh hati..
kini lenyap bersamamu...
Tetaplah di hatiku, menerangi relung jiwaku yang tiada akhir....

Sweet Dream

by: Michelle Apriana.K

Once upon a time, there was a boy who love a girl... but the girl ignored him...
One day, the boy got sick and was about to die...
Then the girl asked him..
"Why are you leaving me?"
then the boy answered,
"So i can be your angel and Love you forever..."
The girL saw that love...
"But, why now the Love is going away from me?"
No answer... The boy is gone...
"Now, I'm here... Alone... and hopeless.."
stay without any strength...
breathe without any air...
see without any light...
walk without any way...
kiss without any lips...
and hug without any warmth...
...
a year after it...
The girl stand in a graveyard...
Under the tree of sorrowful...
under the sky of grievous...
She lying above her love's gravestone...
She want to be beside the boy...
that will never be apart...

There...
The girl sleep on her sweet dream...
and will never get up bt nightmares...
There...
She dies with love in her dream...
Forever and never be apart...

The Love

by: Michelle Apriana.K

Right here...
Deeply inside my heart...
Far down to the edge of my heart...
There's no sound...
Cold, windy, and lonely...
Couldn't feel anything...
Couldn't touch any sound...
Quietly, destroying my heart...
Without any sun light, without any air...
I couldn't see...
I couldn't breathe...
My heart is empty, without any love inside...
Still searching that sweet thing...
'Till the end of my breath...
'Till my heart stop beating...
I miss the love...
To brighten my darkest heart...
To cheer up my sorrow life...
To bring the life to my dead soul...
To freshen the dry lungs...
Always wait here for you...
Right here...
In my heart...
In the deepest of my soul...
I will always waiting for the light...
To embrace my life...
and warmth my soul...
Right here...